Marriage - Mirage

When Harry met Sally they hated each other. Till they both were totally heart broken and needed a friend more than a lover. Of course they too had the same fate and they fell in love and got married. Now why did thy get married, not because they wanted to have sex, not because one of them was Hari Shah and needed a green card to stay in US and definitely not because they needed stability in their relationship.

I am not saying Harry and Sally are my ideal couple and I admire them, its just that they are widely known and also recycled in India as hum tum.

Anyways.

Over a couple of months marriage has been the talk of my household. Either about my marriage and I quote ‘my sister’s son is settled in us and wants to get married this year [as if he has an expiry date]. He is coming to India. Why don’t u send your daughter over to my place and we will fix up a meeting’; why u think I am ugly or unattractive or incapable of finding one guy on the face of this earth who would want to spend the rest of his life with me? Or am I so old that u can actually hear my biological clock ticking? Or are u the president of the parents who want to get rid of their daughters association??

And if these talks are not about me they are about others, so and so is getting married. Ok wow congratulations!!! But when u come to know that so and so is getting married and 15 days after their marriage the bride will sty in Mumbai and study and the groom will stay in Bangalore and work, it sounds ridiculous. I mean I have mixed feelings about it. Its good that they are giving their career the top priority but what’s the point of getting married? One can always get married later. Especially when u have the time to spend with each other.

Well some say marriage is a very personal thing and one should not care about other people’s opinion. Humbug!! Marriage is a state of mind and if two people feel the same way the should just get down to business, settle together and lead a normal life. However the ceremony and the tag of belonging is something that is made by society and frankly speaking if u feel married then a ceremony is just for the world to know that u have officially and legally committed to each other.

And if my friends who r going to get married feel even remotely this way they wont need the ceremony. And if they do want a ceremony then they should wait and find a date where in people can attend and give them their blessings. They claim that marriage is a milestone I completely agree and a milestone changes ones life it is supposed to be significant. And if one continues their life the same way with no progress in their relationship except for the tag of being married then it serves no purpose. In fact I’d say its not a milestone at all. In their case when they both will move in together would be a milestone and that would be the day they can consider themselves married.

Also if one cannot start living together after the ceremony then there’s no point of getting married. And it’s not just a question of a couple of months now a days many couples live apart in the initial months, but a couple of years? Then one might as well get married after a couple of years.

Or do we still believe that one should abstain till one gets married? Does it mean that one gets married to have sex and doesn’t it just make the institute of marriage look like a licensing authority for fornication?

Marriage is a celebration of two people who are deeply in love and committed to each other to declare their love in front of the society and to embark upon their journey to shape their future together. Some choose to make a hue and cry about it some prefer a small gathering of close friends. However it’s about coming together and staying together and it does not increase ones stability or security it just enriches the experience of living with a companion.